the life

We are lost amid a sea of ourselves
Our ambitions
Our desires
Our accomplishments

Lost – we seek shelter
In the comfort in our mothers arms? or…
In our drugs
In our beer
In our cheap cigarettes and midnight clubs

Are we a generation without purpose?
Or with twenty million purposes
To end hate, poverty, sin, intolerance, genocide, addiction, environmental degradation, 
Or to be wealthy, happy, wise, successful
To hold that degree, that job, that fellowship, that medal, that girl
To be known, to be mysterious, to be desirable, to be loved.

Is God crying out? 
Are our souls crying out?
Are we too tired to hear
From soccer practice, ballet lessons, meetings, training, work, play, groups, discussions, and yes –vacations

Vacations from what?
The home we built?
The family we wanted?
The wife we … loved?
The job we went to school for-
The loans that paid for the school we attended to get the job
That we take a vacation to escape from?

Is our future bright?
Or is it muddied-
With news clips, e-mails, that other woman, that other man, the friend, the boss, the neighbor
The neighbor we don’t know
Or we think we do
Or we think should mow his lawn 
Or take better care of his kids

We buy magazines – and never read the articles
We buy newspaper and use them in our bird cages
We subscribed to 200 channels and watch one or fifty for thirty seconds
And we say “there’s nothing on”

Or is there too much on?
Our lights are on
Our sprinklers are going
Our car is running
And it’s out of gas
And it’s out of oil

We need three cars
We have two already
We probably need another TV
For the kids room

We just don’t have any more time for those kids
They take up so much time already
Driving them to tournaments, to haircuts, to awards ceremonies in the gym
The gym where’ll they sit in thirty years
Watching their kids
And thinking about the car needing oil

Or maybe they won’t
Maybe they won’t have kids
Kids are too expensive
College cost 50 grand a year you know
And clothes 
And don’t forget books
And that new car

Maybe if they don’t have time for kids they’ll have time to work
Work for themselves
Work for their pet Chihuahua with worms

Maybe while they’re working they’ll find the answer
Or maybe they’ll just have all the new questions
Because there are always questions
Questions Questions Questions

And where are the answers?
In his book or hers?
In the bible they gave to you at 15?
You know – the one on your nightstand
The one you read last week when you couldn’t sleep

You read “I am the resurrection and the life
And you thought-
Ohh isn’t that nice. Maybe I can get to sleep after all.


C. Nikole said...

I've always enjoyed this piece!

Lydia said...

oh wow, i found this under your facebook notes maybe a year ago now. i love this. seriously, austin, this is incredibly hard-hitting and thought-provoking. love it!!