The New Apt.

We've decided to call it 'The Wolves' Den" since it's located in the old Wolf Brothers' Department Store. 

We've still got a lot of work to do interior decorating wise.

withheld vices.

I hung out with a girl this spring who was big on the don’ts.

The things you’re not “supposed” to do.

I feel like that mindset is one of the major weaknesses of today’s evangelical christianity.

The petty morality of withheld vices speaks little of the hue of a human soul.

While i do not believe in predestination,

At times i feel some of us are born with a better compass.

A few out there have hearts oriented towards true north.

or perhaps some just listen to that little voice inside them,

that asks them to do the hardest thing of all:

to be selfless.

And that’s what I believe really matters- the doing. Yeah there are things you shouldn’t do. BUT if you focus just on the don’ts... well you don’t ever “do” jack s***.

Life is about action; not inaction. 

family vacation

For the first time in several years I am on a family vacation.  As an only child, the whole "family vacation" model functions a little differently.

Here's are some +'s and -'s so far...

+ Dad/CEMC foots the bill.

-Mom constantly reminding of girls I have dated, how wonderful they were, and how she can't believe I didn't marry them.

+Spending 9 days with my family.

-Spending 9 days with my family.

+I'm back in California for the first time in over a year.

-I'm back in California, and it makes me wonder why I really love Memphis so much...

+ Double-Doubles.

-Everyone is so damn beautiful out here.

+ You can buy wine and liquor in grocery stores!

- I'm on a vacation with my mom, and every-time I drink I'm reminded of the "long-history of alcoholism" in my family. Yes mom, our family was primarily poor-scott-irish-sharecroppers- I hope for their sakes they were alcoholics. 

I caved.

When I was 9, I convinced my parents to buy me a Sega Genesis.

That was the first, and until today, the last gaming system I ever owned.

Then today, sitting in my office, I thought to myself "you know what would be cool? playing a game where I could kill zombies." 

I decided to consult my soon-t0-be roommate Patrick about this purchase. His response: "Dude I think that would be the best effin idea ever. Get two controllers and I'll pay you for one. I'll come over and we'll play tonight." 

My resident "gamer" friend Pate told me "it's sublime" - whatever that means. 

So, I got off work and drove directly to Best Buy in Cordova and purchased a XBox 360. 

I was going to just by the basic system, but Pat and the sales rep. convinced me to buy the XBox 360 "Pro" for an extra hundred bucks.

Moral of the story: I am entirely too impulsive.

I need the join a Buddhist monastery...

Believe.

There's been a lot of hype this year about the film Slum Dog Millionaire.

I have to say, I loved that movie. 

Why? Because, to me, Slumdog is a story about believing.  The world is a cold, cruel place at times- alright, it's always a cold, cruel place. But how much colder is it without belief? I can't even see the point in living if there's nothing more to life that the material, the obvious, the day-to-day.

Slumdog is a movie about destiny. Here's Danny Boyle on the idea of destiny is Slumdog:

Some people don't believe in "destiny"- 

they throw it into the same heap as Santa Clause. 

It's fun for kids, but why wouldn't an adult believe in it?

I need to believe. Furthermore, I think that humanity needs to believe. 

We need to believe in that there is more to life

than what we can perceive through our senses.

Robert Duvall sums it up much better than I can in Secondhand Lions:

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true 

are the things a man needs to believe in the most."

Why? Not only because they're "worth believing in," 

but because those beliefs, beliefs in things unseen, are the things which drive humanity.

They always have and always will.

And I think that's the real reason I'm not an atheist.

I feel a need to believe there's life after death,

a need to believe that love overcomes,

a need to believe I will be forgiven,

and a need to believe in God.

C.S. Lewis used a fantasy character to voice this idea, in The Silver Chair.

The children have journeyed through the underworld to rescue the prince of Narnia.

When they finally find the prince, the evil witch queen of the underworld has convinved him that Narnia isn't real,

that it was just a dream he had. When the children start to believe the witch is right, their friend and companion,

Puddleglum, the consummate doubter and pessimist, makes a speech. He tells the witch,

"One word, Ma'’am...One word. All you have been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there is one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things- trees grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that'’s a funny thing when you come to think of it. We'’re just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world, which licks your real world hollow. That'’s why I'’m going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan'’s side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'’m going to live as like a Narian I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we'’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I shouldn't think; but that's a small loss, if the world's as dull a place as you say."

I think Lewis was right, I for one would rather spend the rest of my days believing in the dream, than give up and live in a God-less, hopeless, pointless world.

the life

We are lost amid a sea of ourselves
Our ambitions
Our desires
Our accomplishments

Lost – we seek shelter
In the comfort in our mothers arms? or…
In our drugs
In our beer
In our cheap cigarettes and midnight clubs

Are we a generation without purpose?
Or with twenty million purposes
To end hate, poverty, sin, intolerance, genocide, addiction, environmental degradation, 
Or to be wealthy, happy, wise, successful
To hold that degree, that job, that fellowship, that medal, that girl
To be known, to be mysterious, to be desirable, to be loved.

Is God crying out? 
Are our souls crying out?
Are we too tired to hear
From soccer practice, ballet lessons, meetings, training, work, play, groups, discussions, and yes –vacations

Vacations from what?
The home we built?
The family we wanted?
The wife we … loved?
The job we went to school for-
The loans that paid for the school we attended to get the job
That we take a vacation to escape from?

Is our future bright?
Or is it muddied-
With news clips, e-mails, that other woman, that other man, the friend, the boss, the neighbor
The neighbor we don’t know
Or we think we do
Or we think should mow his lawn 
Or take better care of his kids

We buy magazines – and never read the articles
We buy newspaper and use them in our bird cages
We subscribed to 200 channels and watch one or fifty for thirty seconds
And we say “there’s nothing on”

Or is there too much on?
Our lights are on
Our sprinklers are going
Our car is running
And it’s out of gas
And it’s out of oil

We need three cars
We have two already
We probably need another TV
For the kids room

We just don’t have any more time for those kids
They take up so much time already
Driving them to tournaments, to haircuts, to awards ceremonies in the gym
The gym where’ll they sit in thirty years
Watching their kids
And thinking about the car needing oil

Or maybe they won’t
Maybe they won’t have kids
Kids are too expensive
College cost 50 grand a year you know
And clothes 
And don’t forget books
And that new car

Maybe if they don’t have time for kids they’ll have time to work
Work for themselves
Work for their pet Chihuahua with worms

Maybe while they’re working they’ll find the answer
Or maybe they’ll just have all the new questions
Because there are always questions
Questions Questions Questions

And where are the answers?
In his book or hers?
In the bible they gave to you at 15?
You know – the one on your nightstand
The one you read last week when you couldn’t sleep

You read “I am the resurrection and the life”
And you thought-
Ohh isn’t that nice. Maybe I can get to sleep after all.

so mote it be

I finished my first year of law school.

I am now clerking for The Monroe Firm. 

I am moving in with Pat O'Connor this summer (hopefully into a house in midtown).

Considering getting a tattoo.

That's all for now.

Lately

So I decided to listen to my own advice and drop facebook for awhile. I'm shooting for no facebook until mid-august. 

Why?

Why not?

Facebook just isn't the same these days, maybe it's the transition out of college, maybe it's the new "twitteresque" format (i f****n hate twitter).  Or maybe I'm just tired of the bizarre voyeuresque, me me me, digustingly self-deluded arrogance of web 2.0. 

I could write a book about how disgusted I am with the whole thing, but I won't. Why? Because this blog is just one more facebookish thing. Who am I? Who would want to read what I'm thinking about? 

Blahh blahhh blahh torts. 

Why I am proud to be an only child

When you're an only child, you become used to the "you're such an only child" comments.  

I hate these comments; mainly because when pressed on them, most people can't explain what they actually mean. Are you saying I'm more selfish than you because I didn't have a brother or sister? Are you implying that I am more emotionally needy? 

Let me make this clear: either one of those assumptions is complete, unfiltered bullshit. 

As far as I can tell, the only major repercussion of my growing up as an only child is that I don't need to be constantly entertained or comforted by the presence of other people. Don't get me wrong: I love people. But, because I spent a lot of time alone when I was growing up, being alone just doesn't bother me like it does some people. 

Recently I read an excellent article at BCC News entitled Population: The elephant in the room.

I love this article because of its candor. The hard, naked truth is that in the future everyone needs to have less children. Humanity has probably already overshot Earth's carrying capacity; and unless we decrease the surplus population, the environment will never recover. 

It is my hope that in the near future, having more than two children (i.e. replacement rate for a couple) will come to be seen as a civically, socially, and environmentally irresponsible decision. Maybe then the ludicrous stigma against only children will be erased once and for all. 

25 things about you

Lately facebook has been inundated by notes entitled "25 random things about me." 

These notes harken back to the days of annoying AOL survey forwards (e.g. "If you could kiss one celebrity, who would it be? OMG BRAD PITT!!!!! LOL :-D").

While I too miss the good ole' days of AOL (remember when having colored font on your profile was a big deal?), these notes disgust me.

Why?

It's simple...

It's not that I don't care about you.

It's not that I don't want to know more about you.

It's that this little online trend speaks volumes about our culture, and specifically our generation...

I have so far been tagged in 6 of these notes.  Everyone who has tagged me, I consider a friend (and not in the perfunctory "facebook friends" sense).

I would be more than glad to sit down over coffee which each of these people and talk about their lives, their dreams, their pet peeves, and yes, even their first pet.  I would even settle for a 20 minute cell-phone conversation.

But that won't happen...

Why?

Because our generation is so busy with electronic media (e.g. FACEBOOK) that we neglect genuine interpersonal interaction (please, don't get me wrong, I do too).

So please, if you want to tag me in a "25 things" note- don't. Call me; or better yet, if you live in Memphis, ask me if I'd like to get coffee, have lunch, or just chat. 

If they ever write a biography about A. W. Maness, esq.

2009 will be described as the year I was born again.

this weekend

There are always outliers and rogues.

Even though 99% of people will behave the way you would expect under a certain set of circumstances, a few will not.

That's why, while useful, PUA or any other system which categorizes people and predicts the way they behave will never be perfect.  

As for me, I would rather keep looking for the one-percenters, the rogues, because they're out there.

One a complete non-sequitur: Civilization 4 is way too addictive for me.

synecdoche of this year's plans:

this weekend I'm going to learn how to make pancakes.